Lifting Up the Soul

"He who has clean hands and a pure heart; who does not lift his soul to an idol, or swear by what is false..." Psalm 24:4

What does it mean to lift our souls to an idol? 'Lifting up' implies offering, gazing worshipfully, turning attention towards, being devoted to, giving all to, putting energy or time into, or adoring something.  And what is the soul? Heart and mind together? The life inside us that both draws breath and makes us sentient? The soul is the foundation of life, true-life-presence in the body, and that which makes us live. "Lifting our souls" to something in no small matter.

What are the things that consume our time and thoughts? I find that I spend inordinate hours making sure I look "right". This manifests itself in time spent in front of the mirror or getting dressed to go out. It also shows up in how I keep the house, how I exercise, how I share past experiences in a group. It's revealed in the time spent ruminating over how someone has wronged me. So perhaps I should say my wasted time is spent in pride, or that more descriptive synonym: vain-glory. The runners-up include garnering the appreciation of others, protecting comfort and security, holding on to resentments, and being fearful. Idols don't need to be made of gold or wood to be a consuming presence in our lives.

But what of lifting our souls to God?
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God." Psalm 25:1

I like that this Psalm immediately follows the other. After learning what to avoid, we are reminded of what to embrace. Because God is so good, because He knows exactly what we need and always does what is best for His children, lifting our souls to Him is the right and most obvious thing to do.

What has the Lord not done for us? And He always keeps His promises. He never forsakes us. When I lift my soul to the Triune God, amazing things happen.  The opinions of others diminish in my eyes. I worry less about whether or not there is a child in our future.  I can see more clearly the petty inconsistencies and unforgiving thoughts I carry because of some past grievance. He reveals the un-love of my nature and I cannot hide from myself any longer. I realize that no amount of  work will change these blots on my character, and am helpless in my soul's mess. And then God takes those ugly parts and washes them away. He gives me humility in exchange for my pride, and with humility comes freedom.

If my soul is cloistered with the God of the Universe, who loves me and delivered Himself up for me, I am freed, transformed, and no longer burdened by trying to maintain my idols. Because He loves me, those other things don't carry the weight they once did. To top all of this, I get to be with God, and I can't  sufficiently describe His goodness.

May I not lift my soul to another.

Drawing a Blank

The irony of "drawing a blank" for a visual artist is that 'blank' means you haven't drawn anything at all.

There are seasons where I hit a stride as an artist.  I have a lot of creative insights, I'm working a lot, have commissions to finish... but that season is not happening at the moment.

Instead, I lie in bed wondering what I should get for a friend's birthday, create a grandiose plan to re-upholster an old chair with my novice sewing skills, dawdle over two-day old funny pages, plot the death of squirrels that eat our tulips, and contemplate going to Walgreens.

Maybe artists starve because of this "drawing a blank" syndrome more often than they languish with undiscovered talent. My college professor called me "haptic", which apparently meant that unless I was really feeling the art there was no point in coming to class. This is a dangerous allowance to give any student, much less an eighteen year old who already thinks too highly of herself. It's also a dangerous adjective to carry in your mind when you're attempting to make a career as an artist.

Maybe my next post should be called "Discipline: the way to overcome being a haptic artist".

Off to Walgreens...